Dog vs the Fort Knox Box
by Drachesky
Summary: The Williams family lab, Max, comes to live with Danny in Hawaii. Unfortunately, Max doesn't like flying.


**A/N: This is a true story. The original dog travelled on a transatlantic flight, so I had to change that detail. I also realize that there's a special process for animals entering Hawaii, and I haven't bothered to be accurate about that at all. Most of the rest is accurate and the dog, who passed away a few years ago, is now immortalized in family legend.**

_ "Well, did you get him?"_

Mary McGarrett stared at the panting black lab, its tongue lolling in the humid air as it gave her a goofy grin on the other side of the crate window. "Yeah…" she said slowly into the phone. "But-"

_"Great, perfect, thank you!"_Danny's relief was evident, despite the crackling connection between them. _"Just take him to Steve's place and I'll be there as soon as we get done with this case."_

"How do I, um… get him there?" Mary asked.

_"How?"_ There was a slight pause as Danny pondered her question. _"You just put him in the car," _he said, nonplussed.

"What about the cage?"

_"The kennel? Just put it in the car, too."_

"That huge thing? I can't lift that. I don't even know if it'll fit."

_"Mary, it's just a kennel. If it doesn't fit in the cab, just load it onto the back of Steve's truck. It'll be fine. We'll be home soon."_

"If you say so," Mary said, eyeing the cage apprehensively. "I'll go find so people to help me hoist this thing up."

_"It's just… plastic…"_Danny began to break up. _"Take the… out if you have to."_

"What?"

_"Kennel… plastic…"_

Mary stared at the 'kennel.' "I've got news for you Danny- this thing isn't plastic."

_"What?"_

"It isn't plastic!"

_"You're breaking up!"_Danny said loudly as the static increased. _"Listen, I'll deal… when we…back. be easy… Thank you for… Bye!"_

Mary hung up. "Easy, yeah right," she mumbled to herself. This was not what she expected when Steve had called in a favor and asked her to pick up his partner's dog from the airport. A cute, fluffy Pomeranian in a nice, little cage- that would've been perfect. But _this?_ She stared at the cage. "That is _not_plastic," she muttered, this time to herself. She looked at the huge, happy, panting animal inside. "What did you do?"

The dog- Max- cocked its head. He barked.

Mary reached a few fingers inside and grinned as the dog licked them enthusiastically. "You're a good boy, aren't you?" she said, brushing his head with her fingertips. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Max barked again.

Mary smiled broadly. She may not have known Danny for very long, but she knew him well enough to imagine what would happen when he saw the cage. He would flip. Her eyes sparkled mischievously, and for a moment there was an uncanny resemblance to her brother Steve. This could be fun.

…

"What… what is _that?_" Danny sputtered. He and Steve had just parked in front of the house moments ago and he'd been immediately and enthusiastically greeted by the dog, who had thrown himself into Danny's lap before the detective could even exit the car. Once he was finally free of the vehicle, Dany was confronted with the sight of… well, he wasn't really sure. Solid wood on all four sides, with 3 small wire windows and a heavily padlocked door, the box nearly filled the truck bed.

Steve was equally shocked. He circled his beloved truck slowly, eyeing the gigantic crate in confusion. "Mary…?"

"Don't look at me." Sitting on the front porch in a sundress and oversized sunglasses, Mary shrugged innocently. "Danny said to put it in the back of the truck, and that thing took three guys to lift. I wasn't about to get it down once I got home." She spread her arms for Max, who returned happily for more ear-scratching. "I left it for you two to deal with."

Danny, having completed one circuit around the cage, stopped and planted his hands on his hips. "That is _not_my kennel."

She rolled her eyes. "I kind of figured that out."

"What am I going to do with this?"

"Keep your suspects in it?" she offered unhelpfully.

Steve's eyes suddenly widened. "Actually…"

"No," Danny immediately cut him off.

"But-"

"No." Ignoring Steve's pout, he circled the truck again. "Did they say anything when you picked him up? Like, did they tell you what happened to my nice, normal, plastic kennel?"

"No. Just had me sign the form. Seemed pretty happy to be rid of the dog, actually, the poor sweetheart."

"Uh huh." Danny ran a hand over his head and sighed. "Obviously something happened."

"It's kind of cool," Mary said, pushing Max gently to one side as she stood up. Moving to the tailgate, she pointed to small label on the wooden door. "See, it's what they use for shipping tigers and bears."

Danny eyed the tag in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me."

Mary turned back to Max. "Are you a big bear?" she crooned, prompting the dog to flop over, exposing his belly. "Are you a big, ferocious bear?" She rubbed his belly while the dog woofed appreciatively. "I mean, he's black and kind of fuzzy like a bear," she said to Danny and Steve.

Steve didn't respond. He was still looking thoughtfully at the crate.

"No one is mistaking that dog for a bear," Danny said. Pulling out his car keys, he gestured to his partner. "Can you take care of that… thing? I'm driving back to the airport to find out what happened." He headed for the car, but stopped just short of getting in. "And dispose of it, Steven. Get rid of it. No hiding it in the garage so you can use it for some nefarious purpose later. Got it?"

Steve frowned.

"Got it?"

Mary gave a thumbs up.

Danny rolled his eyes. Climbing in, he drove away.

…

"Sir, we ship dogs all the time," the man droned in a bored tone. "Can you please be more specific as to which dog you shipped?"

"A black lab."

"Like I said, we get a lot of those. Do you have your shipping number?"

"No," Danny said shortly. He tried to keep the irritation from his voice. "Look, he just flew in this afternoon, from DC."

"Okay…"

"Can you look him up?"

"Gonna be hard to do without a shipping number."

Danny rolled his eyes. "It's the dog that arrived in a tiger crate."

The man straightened. Further down the counter, other employees stopped what they were doing and stared fearfully in their direction. "Oh," the man said, his tone completely changed. "_That_dog."

"Yes, _that_dog," Danny mimed. "What the hell happened?"

"Well, um…" the man began uncomfortably. "He didn't seem to like the kennel…" Behind him, someone rushed to fetch the manager. A cluster of people emerged from the back room and huddled together just within earshot, whispering and shooting Danny furtive glances.

Danny eyed the activity curiously but remained focused on the unlucky employee before him. "I know he doesn't like the kennel- I told your people as much when I signed the paperwork to fly him over, but they all thought they knew my dog better than me."

"Yes, they, ah, might have underestimated your animal's _distaste_for-"

"Mr. Williams?" Emerging from the office, a large man in a suit and a tie immediately dispersed the crowd as he approached the counter. Passing a hand across, he gave Danny a welcoming shake. "Pleasure to meet you, sir," he said affably. "Would you care for anything to drink? Coffee? Soda?" He led Danny to a break room nearby and settled into a chair, leaving Danny the couch. "Pete here can run and grab us some hot malasadas," he offered.

"No thank you," Danny said crossly. He knew how this welcome-and-distract-them tactic worked. "I just want to know what happened to my dog."

"Ah, yes, Max," the manager nodded knowingly. "Beautiful lab, by the way."

Danny nodded, waiting. Was the manager on a first-name-basis with all the animals here? He doubted it.

"How is Max?" the manager asked.

"He's happy to be home," Danny said.

"So he's doing okay, then? All safe and sound?"

Danny narrowed his eyes. "Fine, why?"

"He, ah, just seemed rather distraught about flying," the manager said quickly, still smiling. "I was just concerned about his, um, emotional state."

Somewhere deep inside, Danny snorted. There was definitely more going on here than the man was letting on, but Danny would have to sort it out later. "I'm just wondering what happened to his kennel," he said, rounding back to what he really wanted to know. "I need it back."

"Sure, sure, of course." The man nodded, seeming not at all concerned. "Well, I'm afraid your kennel was lost in-transit, but we would be happy to supply you with a replacement from our stockroom, free of charge." He gestured toward the open door at the back of the store.

Danny frowned. How, exactly, did one lose a kennel, but not the dog inside it? Rising from the couch, he followed the manager into a storeroom stocked with food, supplies, and shelves of new kennels and cages.

"Just tell me which one you'd like."

"I don't want to buy a new one," Danny began, but the man cut him off.

"It's free of charge, Mr. Williams. And I'll even throw in a dog bed- you had a comfy dog bed in there, didn't you?"

Danny hadn't, but he knew what the man was doing. This wasn't just compensation for a lost kennel- it was straight-up bribery. "I don't need a dog bed."

"I insist," the manager said, selecting one of the nicer models from the top shelf. "Max seems like such a sweet dog," he continued, missing Danny's silent laugh of disbelief. He pulled down several toys and a bag of treats and dropped them into the carrier as well. "I'm glad he arrived safely,and that he's happy at home."

There was that word again: _safe_.

"We want to make sure all of our animals are comfortable travelling with us, no matter how long the journey," the man continued, still stuffing the kennel with supplies.

Danny looked around the room. "Do you, uh, ship any other types of animals?"

"We ship all kinds," the manager said, stopping. "Did you have something particular in mind?"

"Do you ship bears? Or tigers?"

"We do ship the occasional bear or tiger for zoos and wildlife refuges. But those supplies are at a separate facility."

"Ah."

"Did you, ah, have another animal that needs shipping?" the manager asked nervously.

"No. No, just the dog," Danny said.

"Oh. Good," the manager sighed in relief.

…

When he arrived back home, the crate was gone. He found Steve on the beach out back, watching while Mary played with Max in the ocean.

"Max seems to be having fun," Danny commented.

"Mary doesn't want him to go home with you."

"Max may not want to come home, either, but a certain very excited 12-year-old is expecting him." He slid into the other chair and scooped up the beer Steve had left for him in the sand. "I see the crate disappeared."

"Yup."

"That was fast."

Steve hummed some sort of unintelligible answer.

"I checked the garage- it isn't in there."

"You said I couldn't put it in the garage."

"I know what I said. I also said to get rid of it, and I know you probably ignored me and hid it somewhere." Danny gave his partner a long look, but Steve pretended to be busy watching the dog and his sister. "I just want you to know that I am totally absolved of any guilt whatsoever in any hairbrained schemes you may have in mind, plus the fallout from any asinine ideas you may have in the future."

"Immunity and means, Danno. Immunity and means." Steve took a long draught from his bottle. "What did the pet shipping company have to say?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Not much." But Danny had an idea as to what happened. "He asked me twice if the dog was safe. How can any animal _not_be safe locked up in that Fort Knox of a box? I mean, sure, Max obviously escaped at some point because otherwise I'd have my kennel back, but his escape shouldn't have placed him in any kind of special danger."

Steve swirled the dregs of his bottle. "Maybe they thought Max got injured when they recaptured him?"

Danny shook his head. "They would have checked him out for injuries before putting him on the plane. The manager just seemed particularly concerned about Max's health."

"Maybe…" Steve was grasping for ideas. "Maybe they drugged him? Something to keep him quiet and docile… or to help get him in the crate?"

"That's what I was thinking."

Steve stopped and turned to stare at him. "Seriously? You think they drugged him?"

"It's the only thing that makes sense." Danny tapped a finger to his head. "Think about it, Steve: this is a company that handles bears and tigers and wild, dangerous animals. A freaking lab should be no problem, right? So why ask, _twice_, if my dog was safe?"

"Did you ask the manager that?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Danny sighed. He leaned back, thinking of his nice, new, extravagantly-outfitted kennel. "We came to an understanding."

"What kind of an understanding?"

"The kind where I don't ask uncomfortable questions, and they don't get sued."

"That sounds mutually beneficial."

"Eh," Danny shrugged, still not entirely happy with the outcome.

"I could go down there and find out the truth, if you want."

Danny had a brief vision of Steve dangling the manager upside-down over the ocean. "No thanks, babe. We're good."

"You sure? Cause I don't have a problem going down there and-"

"-threatening to separate his limbs? I can do without the repercussions from that, babe."

"I would ask nicely."

Danny could never quite tell when Steve was serious or kidding. "What exactly constitutes 'nice' for you? Is physical harm involved?"

"Danny, what if the dog was hurt? What if Max dies later from whatever they gave him? Don't you think you deserve to know?"

"I think you're just looking for an excuse to interrogate someone. Besides," Danny stood and stretched, "this could be just like Munich."

"Munich?" Still seated, Steve shaded his eyes and stared up at him, nonplussed. "What happened in Munich?"

"Max happened in Munich." Chuckling, Danny recalled the fateful day when he had accidentally unleashed his dog on the south German city, triggering a bomb alert and temporarily shutting down the airport. "Let's just say that if he did break out of his cage on the flight here, it wouldn't be the first time he's done so."

Steve gave him a sideways look. "And I've never heard this story because…?"

"Never came up before," Danny said with a shrug. Walking down to the water, he kicked his feet in the waves. "I guess…" he said slowly, "I guess Max seems fine now. If I took him to the vet, it's probably too late to run a test- any drugs would be fully metabolized and wouldn't show up in the results. I'd waste a lot of time and energy and effort for nothing. I mean, look at him-" he waved at the black lab splashing enthusiastically in the shallows "-he's obviously happy. And if he's happy, I'm happy."

"And if you're happy…?"

"If I'm happy, you don't beat people up," Danny said.

"But if the dog isn't happy…?"

"If that dog gets sick or, heaven forbid, dies abruptly, you have my permission to beat up whoever the heck you want," Danny said with affection.

Steve seemed satisfied with this answer. Pulling off his shirt, he waded into the surf to join in the games. Danny, exhausted from the long day and still in his slacks and shirt from work, threw himself back into the chair to watch. Max bounced happily between Steve and Mary, biting at the foam and chasing small sticks that the siblings threw into the surf.

Danny held on to his concerns a moment longer, then finally let go with a sigh.

Max was happy. Max was safe.

Was that good enough?

Danny decided it could be.

**A/N: Got any fun travelling pet stories of your own? Also, for you pet lovers out there- this wasn't my dog, and drugs weren't initially suspected until someone else thought of it months later. At that point, it was too late to figure out what happened, so the family decided to let bygones be bygones. **

** Max died at a normal age for black labs and is hopefully running free and wild through the Great Food Dish in the Sky. **


End file.
